This was becoming more tiring, and at a faster rate, than she had originally anticipated. Lesly looked up at the ceiling above her bed and sighed. There was only so many times she could pace her room and flop down on it before she became too bored by the actions. There were only so many books she could read before she was able to recite it from to back just by thinking of the title; and there really was no fun in being able to do that. It might not be so bad if she was allowed to leave the room once in a while, for more than just the basic necessities, but even then she didn't think it really counted; she wasn't allowed to speak with anyone, she wasn't allowed beyond certain spaces, and everything was so controlled.
It made her wonder if her father knew anything, but she didn't believe he did. If he had, he would have done something more than sequester her to her quarters. She frowned as she considered it, finally sitting it up glancing towards the window, knowing she needed the fresh air and bright sunlight beyond. At least she'd been allowed to keep a window, for which she would be - maybe not thankful, but grudgingly glad. She rubbed her arms and walked over to it, threw it opened and clicked her tongue, noticing nothing in particular, as usual, to see beyond the portal.
Just Bitra, "beautiful" Bitra, but it would never look the same to her after this. Once it had been home, when she'd had her brothers with her, but she hadn't seen - or heard - anything from either Naji or J'in in so long she didn't know what was going on with either of them. It hurt her heart and made her angry all at once, knowing that they could forget about her so easily. Faranth, she didn't even know if Epiphany had made it South, and she likely never would at this rate - her father was intending to see her married off, and to keep her in one place, he was keeping her locked up.
She decided she no longer wanted to look out the window. Today was a day for tumultuous emotions and thoughts it would seem. She didn't want to be married. She didn't want that for herself at all. There were thoughts and feelings no one could ever understand, not least of all because she didn't understand them herself. Now, each day that passed, she could feel everything closing in on her, becoming so cold she didn't know what she was going to do. By the time she was finally let out of this room, for good, she'd be set in a marriage she didn't want, all for political reasons, with no way out of it short of...
She closed her fingers tight over her arms, hugging herself even harder. If she could just find a way to get a message to Naji or J'in...
But who in the Hold was going to risk doing that for the daughter of the Lord? She closed her eyes a moment, but refused to cry, that was above her, beyond her, she wasn't going to give into such a weak emotion. But she could do this, she could make it through; there was always a will, and there was always a way. She would have to find them and if she couldn't, then she would just need to start looking in other directions.
A knock on the door alerted her to the arrival of her afternoon meal, and she went to fetch it. Sure enough, it was more of her mother's "special" stew, meant to keep her figure lean in preparation for the coming months when she would be a proper Lord's son's bride. Not that there was anything wrong with her of course, but according to her mother... She rolled her eyes as the guard departed and eventually she set the tray down and sat to start eating, though she didn't taste much of it.
As she considered the paths and patterns of her days, the ins and outs of the guards at her door, which was now locked - no real surprise there, she thought to herself - she knew there were certain points in time when slipping out would be an option. But she would need to be quick about it, not to mention precise as fuck, to the point that as ingle slip up could mean being caught. She chewed on her lip and thought about it for a little longer.
Yes, it was possible, for really, what other option did she have?
"Naji, you bastard, J'in you asshole... you two had better pay attention to your message if I get this one out..." She muttered to the wind before cleaning up her plates and trying to find some semblance of relaxation for the remainder of her afternoon.