You Are The Father ~ Tag: Duke/Ember

[Parker]

Fuzzy timed to Autumn 2048

Zayn felt like a coward. He'd been at the weyr for a bit...okay long enough to settle into a role in the archives...and he'd yet to do the one thing he'd come to New Atricis to do. Tell Bronzerider D'kellen he is his son. At first he could excuse his fear as simply not having had a chance to talk with the man, but he couldn't do that anymore. He'd had a run in with the man a few weeks ago. That had been beyond awkward. Not for D'kellen, of course, and Zayn could only hope that the man hadn't noticed how nervous and anxious he was acting. That should have been when he told him, but he'd froze up and stayed silent. After that he swore he would do it, but days passed and he didn't. Then, he had run into him again. Still...his lips remained still. There was no hiding it...he was a coward.

He was still trying to gain the courage when the unthinkable happened. The bronzerider came to the archives asking for help with a book that needed some of the passages rewritten because they were too faded. Zayn had smiled and agreed to happily get that done for him immediately. He had thought that the man would leave to do something else, but he'd wanted to stay. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he guessed the book was important to him for some reason or another.

The entire time he worked to figure out the words and then re-copy them they had shared small chitchat. Zayn's heart was pounding in his chest, but he hoped that the man wasn't able to tell. He knew now was a good time, but it was like the words were getting stuck in his throat. Before he knew it he had the job complete. Another missed chanced....

....Or maybe not.

Duke invited him to eat lunch with him. Digging deep within himself, Zayn agreed to join him with the determination that he was finally going to say something. They got to the dining hall, got their food, and found a table before the archivist was able to say anything that would steer him towards his revelation. "So, ah, D'kellen. You're...ah...originally from Fort, right?" He asked as he pushed the food around his plate with his fork.

x9 - counted

[Ember]

The work that had been done was fantastic, and Duke was pleased with the results. But as eager as he was to show the results to the owner, he first wanted to continue the conversation he'd been having with the archivist, so that naturally meant having lunch and perhaps seeing what else they could learn about one another. And perhaps, there'd been another reason for the meal time chat, he thought to himself. During their last encounter, and now this one, it had seemed as though there was something sticking to the roof of the young man's mouth, as though he had something to say but couldn't quite say it. He didn't know what it was, and maybe it was just his own thoughts getting the better of him, but Duke wondered if perhaps a little time together might help him say what was on his mind. Wojoth, the soft-heart that he was, wasn't sure if he agreed necessarily, he wanted his rider to go about things gently, but he knew he wouldn't do anything to harm the young man.

Duke looked up from his food, having been about to ask something similar of Zayn. Instead of doing so, he smiled and found himself responding to a question instead. "Yes. Fort Weyr born and raised. Impressed my Wojoth there as well, though that's a story in and of itself, to be honest. I'd be happy to share it with you sometime if you'd ever like to lend your ear for it." He heard the bronze in his head snort and couldn't help but chuckle in response. "He says you don't want to hear it, that I tell it far too much for his liking. He just wants to deny that he was ever as tiny as he was out of the shell." He shook his head and used his fork to pierce the tubers on his plate. "Why do you ask? Are you from the area yourself?"

[Parker]

"Yes. Fort Weyr born and raised. Impressed my Wojoth there as well, though that's a story in and of itself, to be honest. I'd be happy to share it with you sometime if you'd ever like to lend your ear for it."

"Of course. I love hearing the stories of how a rider and a dragon became to be together." Zayn stated honestly. The longer he stayed at the weyr the more he began to understand just why people dreamed of being riders. Simply watching the dragons was marvelous, he couldn't imagine how wonderful it was to be attached to one of them for life. However, he didn't really want to talk about dragons right now or the story of how D'kellen came to impress his bronze.

"Why do you ask? Are you from the area yourself?"

That was the opener he needed to really broach the subject. Still, he didn't want to be too brusque about it either. After all, this was a rather delicate topic of conversation. "Yes, sort of. I was raised by the lord holder of Hold Gar. My mother...she lived at the Harper Hall when she got pregnant with me." Zayn answered. It was vague information, but he still couldn't help but feel like Duke was going to be able to guess it immediately.

[Ember]

"Yes, sort of. I was raised by the lord holder of Hold Gar. My mother...she lived at the Harper Hall when she got pregnant with me."

Duke had been in the process of placing something in his mouth when Zayn spoke, and he froze as the morsel rested in between his fingers and his lips. He stared forward, eyes wide as he considered what had been said, or at the very least, just a few of the words in particular. "she lived at the Harper Hall..." He'd known a woman like that once, several Turns back when he'd been a young man himself. She'd comforted him during a rather wild night when obtained his Journey knots and been called back to the Weyr. At least that's what he recalled of the night.

Still holding the figure of shock as he started to piece together things that really, he hadn't thought of in Turns, and in response to that guilt started to settle in his belly as a result, he tried to find a way to ask a question or two of Zayn that didn't make him seem like an asshole, because he had a feeling this was going to turn into something good, but not without a couple of things bouncing back and forth between them first. "Your mother's Zaralyn?" And then he waited, as tension rolled in his belly, for the response.

[Parker]

Zayn noticed the momentary pause that Duke took as he mentioned where his mother had been from. Granted, there were many, hundreds and thousands likely, of women who had lived at the Harper Hall. He could have been speaking of any one of them being his mother. At the time, his mother had never been to Hold Gar, so there was really no connection there that the bronzerider would know of, but still... Zayn knew that the man was intelligent, likely more so than the common man, so anticipation stole him of breath as he watched D'kellen's face.

"Your mother's Zaralyn?"

Treacherous nerves bade him to fidget a little where he sat and caused his fingers to constantly twiddle with each other as comprehension grew within D'kellen. Then, there it was, the question that would reveal the truth. Zayn's heart beat frantically in its chest as he managed to look the bronzerider in the eyes. "Yes, so I am told. I'm afraid she passed away when I was too young to really remember her. She left this with my adoptive father, who gave it to me not long ago." Zayn pulled the worn and folded piece of paper out of his pocket and slid it over to D'kellen for him to read himself.

x6 - counted

[Ember]

"Yes, so I am told. I'm afraid she passed away when I was too young to really remember her. She left this with my adoptive father, who gave it to me not long ago."

Duke took the letter from the young man and opened it up, read it over carefully once, then set it down to consider what he'd just read. After a moment, he looked it over again and then he had to place his fingers over his eyes because they were watering, and fuck he didn't want the tears to fall just yet but he couldn't control them the way he'd like to. He took a deep breath and tried his best to formulate how he was feeling without considering things, but that wans't working, so he croaked "I need just a moment." and hopefully once he explained what the matter was, it would be understood why he was so emotional.

Letting out a breath, he finally allowed his fingers to drop from his eyes and finished off his drink, then turned to Zayn to express why he'd gotten so choked up. "When I left Fort, it was with the understanding that any children I thought were mine weren't." He didn't think he would ever forgive his former weyrmates for the betrayal that had made him decide to leave Fort, but things had been better here. He had Cles now, and if not for leaving the North, the greenrider wouldn't be in his life.

"There's a point I'm trying to make but I'm not doing it very well I'm afraid." He tried to laugh but it just choked off and sounded more like a soft sob and he placed a curled hand in front of his mouth. After a moment, he tried speaking again. "What I'm wanting to say is that I'm damn happy to know that you exist, and that I would like very much for the two of us to get to know one another. Your mother was a good woman, and I trust the words she left behind."

x2
[ claimed ]

[Parker]

"I need just a moment."

"Of course," Zayn said and then leaned back in his chair. Out of habit he brought his hand up to his mouth and began to chew on fingernails that were already nonexistent. He couldn't wager if Duke needing a moment was a good thing or not. He supposed it was fair. That was quite the surprise he'd just hit the bronzerider with. Were the shoes on the other foot, he wasn't sure what he would do if he suddenly found out he had a child in their twenties.

"When I left Fort, it was with the understanding that any children I thought were mine weren't."

The hand fell away from his mouth and he leaned forward again. He had siblings? Well, sort of...maybe...at least by blood, but it seemed likely that it was better to not think of them as such. Besides, he did still have his adopted siblings. "I'm sorry. That must have been difficult." Zayn said, but wasn't sure what else to say. Did that fact make him annoyed at his own appearance or happier for it? He couldn't tell.

"There's a point I'm trying to make but I'm not doing it very well I'm afraid."

"No, no...it's fine. It's...ah...it's not exactly everyday news I just dumped at your feet. To be perfectly honest...I didn't have the balls to tell you when I first got here, so you're doing fine." Zayn assured him. He still felt shame for waiting so long, but admitting to it made him feel a bit better.

"What I'm wanting to say is that I'm damn happy to know that you exist, and that I would like very much for the two of us to get to know one another. Your mother was a good woman, and I trust the words she left behind."

A wide and relieved smile spread on Zayn's face at those words. "Wow...um...yeah, sorry. I'm just...I'm really happy that you're happy. I was honestly worried. Not that I thought you were a bad man or anything, but...well...I'm not exactly a child myself anymore. I know it's been a long time since you knew my mother. But...great. I would like to get to know you better too. There is a lot for us to catch up on."

x3 - counted

[Ember]

"Wow...um...yeah, sorry. I'm just...I'm really happy that you're happy. I was honestly worried. Not that I thought you were a bad man or anything, but...well...I'm not exactly a child myself anymore. I know it's been a long time since you knew my mother. But...great. I would like to get to know you better too. There is a lot for us to catch up on."

Duke had to squeeze his fingers against his nose, against his eyes, when the tears threatened to come again. "Yeah, that we do. But we have time, lots of time." It was just a shame his parents weren't around anymore for it, to know that there was a grandson, one that was actually his. Though on the same hand, if they had been around, they would have known that the other set had been used against him, weren't his at all. No, it was better this way, hard a fact as that was to face.

He looked towards the bartender and slapped a hand on the countertop, trying to stiffen the starch in his back again before he slithered to a puddle on the ground. "We need something to celebrate this moment with. Just you and me, no one else right now, But I have... someone very special in my life that I want you to know, that I want to have know you. So we'll have to arrange that once you're comfortable."

He rubbed his face again and felt his body quiver with a mixture of emotions. "I'm just thrilled. I'll try not to overwhelm you with how excited I am, but to put it in perspective... I didn't think I would ever have a child of my own after... everything. And I've wanted one in my life. And now here you are."

[Parker]

"Yeah, that we do. But we have time, lots of time."

Zayn couldn't help but notice the way the bronzerider pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yeah. I moved down here, so it's not like I won't be around for a long time." He assured his father. It was so much easier thinking that word now that the man knew about his existance. He reached a hand over and rubbed Duke's back in a gentle show of affection. Zayn was a tactile person, though he tried to be cautious with who he exhibited such traits with. This was his father though, so he figured it would be alright.

"We need something to celebrate this moment with. Just you and me, no one else right now, But I have... someone very special in my life that I want you to know, that I want to have know you. So we'll have to arrange that once you're comfortable."

Zayn flagged down the barkeep and ordered for them both one of the top shelf whiskys they had on hand. "Think this is a pretty good whisky to celebrate the moment with. At least, it is one of my favorites." He explained and then lifted his glass to his father in toast. "Oh? Special as in...romantic sort of special?" Zayn asked curiously with a lopsided grin. He chewed on his bottom lip as he debated if he should tell this man, his father, about his gender being fluid. "We can arrange that as soon as you'd like."

"I'm just thrilled. I'll try not to overwhelm you with how excited I am, but to put it in perspective... I didn't think I would ever have a child of my own after... everything. And I've wanted one in my life. And now here you are."

A huge grin spread on his lips again. "Well, I guess...you're welcome? I am happy to have finally found you." Zayn took a deep breath then and decided to go ahead and tell Duke the whole trurh. "So...uh...there is a little something that I should tell you." He began to twiddle his fingers.

[Ember]

"Oh? Special as in...romantic sort of special?"

Even though Cles wasn't at the Weyr, and still at the Flotilla on assignment, they remained in contact with one another. It wasn't difficult, not as much as it had been in those first few days after kisses and feelings had first been shared with one another, but Duke had to admit that he was missing the greenrider right now. A visit would be in order soon, very soon, not only to be with him for a while, but to share the news of his son's appearance in his life.

He didn't realize it, but he was grinning like a fool as he thought about the man, and if he had been aware of it, he probably wouldn't have cared about it. "Yeah, romantic special. He... he means a lot to me." He rubbed the space above his heart, and decided that visit might have to happen much sooner than anticipated. "He's at the Flotilla right now, but I'd like it if the three of us could find some way to gather together at some point, so the two of you could meet."

He wasn't going to rush it though, as eager as he was for the eventual meeting; when it happened, it happened, and he would be thrilled no matter what.

"So...uh...there is a little something that I should tell you."

That had Duke curious, and he decided to set his hands away from his glass and shifted his body until he was facing the younger man a little more fully, providing him with more of his attention. Whatever it was, it had to be important. "Of course. You can tell me anything." There was worry, concern - was something wrong? Was Zayn sick, ill, was he going to lose his son when he'd just found him? But no, he couldn't let himself think in those terms, and so Duke simply waited to hear what had to be said.