Let's Talk About This ~ [tag: Inakil/Marve]

While a similar idea to the dragonrider apartments, the Dayhandler cabins are individual homes that are overall smaller than the apartment buildings, with size assigned by rank and needs, woth all cabins allowing Daywhers to come inside. Day wherlings move into these cabins after bonding.
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Parker
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Title: High Ebilness
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Sun Mar 20, 2016 2:31 am

Small warning for sensitive discussion involving sexuality

This evening was turning out to be the perfect end to what had been a rather rough day for Najden. Patrols had been absolutely horrible. He and Weisden had been almost attacked by a wild wher while checking the outer boundaries. Thankfully, the quartz had been fast enough to get away from the angry creature, but it had still been an ordeal. If that hadn't been bad enough, while making sure the wher wasn't chasing them any more Naji didn't see the low lying branch and was effectively knocked off of Weisden who'd been running at full speed. The air had been knocked out of him and no doubt a bruise forming on his chest. Finally, they had made it back to the weyr and immediately Naji had gone for a soak in the hot springs to ease his sore muscles.

He was still in a bit of a sour mood when he went to dinner in the dining hall. He'd gotten himself a rather full glass of whisky to enjoy with his meal which started to make things a little better. Then, Inakil joined him and he was finally starting to get out from under the black cloud he'd been under. After they were done eating, Naji and Weisden joined Inakil back at his cabin. Spending time with the man he loved was most certainly the cure he needed and Weisden was always happy to spend time with Dolly. At first, Naji and Inakil had rested on his couch reading a book. It was something neither of them got tired of doing, but soon enough Naji's hands discarded the book in favor of holding Inakil tighter. Lips stopped speaking the words on the page in order to capture his for a kiss. Slowly flames began to build between them as hands clung tighter and lips kissed more fervently.

Before long and before he knew it, they'd moved off the couch and made their way to Inakil's bedroom. At some point along the way shirts were discarded before they landed on the bed. Naji's heart had raced within its cage with the thought that perhaps tonight he would finally get to pleasure his boyfriend the way he's wanted to do since...well, first meeting him. Hands and lips worshiped Inakil slowly and passionately. Every inch of skin was traced lovingly and with want until finally his hand moved to the lacing of Inakil's pants and began to untie them.

That was when the entire mood changed. Inakil quickly jerked back and away from him. Naji quickly pulled back as well and looked at Inakil with concern. "What? What's wrong, love?" He asked with worry as he reached to take a hold of Inakil's hand. "Are you alright?"
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Marvealle
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Mon Mar 21, 2016 5:46 am

Everything had been going just fine, Inakil hadn't felt any apprehension or anxiety as things between him and Najden grew heated, as they often did. He had no problems when they made it to his bedroom or lost their shirts on the way there. It was looking like this would be the evening where Inakil could learn about Naji on a far more intimate level. But then, when Naji's hand found the laces of his pants, and he felt them start to loosen his mind suddenly started to race, putting undesirable images in his head, reminding him of things he wished he could forget. He couldn't help but flinch and jerk away from Naji and his advances in that moment, retreating from his boyfriend. He might have retreated completely, possibly even gotten up and left the room to take deep breaths, but Naji asked what was wrong, and reached to touch his hand, even as Inakil moved and sat on the edge of the bed. He swallowed hard.

"I'm fine," he said, his voice lower than it usually was, often only reaching that tone when he was truly bothered by something or upset. He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up a bit more than it already had been.

"I just... need a breather," he went with, not sure what else to tell Naji to hopefully ease any of his concern he obviously had begun to feel. After all, who wouldn't feel worried when their lover suddenly yanks away from them like he just did. He had done it involuntarily, and while he instantly felt bad for it, his heart was actually racing in that way it sometimes did when he woke up from a nightmare, fast and frantic. He swallowed hard, trying to calm himself down so he could look at Naji and honestly say he was fine, but instead his mind got stuck on thoughts and images he wanted to forget. Suddenly he couldn't sit on the bed anymore, and quickly stood up, taking up pacing back and forth a bit, sighing some more.
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Nali ..::||::.. K'rin ..::||::.. M'ir ..::||::.. Raevin ..::||::.. Inakil ..::||::.. Elias ..::||::.. Sterling ..::||::.. Lolena'vas ..::||::.. Rey'vas
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Parker
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Mon Mar 21, 2016 10:59 pm

"I'm fine,"

Naji moved with Inakil as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. The lordling knew that tone of his boyfriend's voice, knew it well, and knew that those two words he'd just uttered were a complete lie. They'd known each other long enough that Naji liked to think that he could read most of Inakil's mannerisms. He didn't let go of Inakil's hand, his thumb rubbing a soft circle over the flesh to try and soothe him a little. He waited silently for him to tell him what was really wrong.

"I just... need a breather,"

Lips pressed together into a thin line of disapproval and disappointment and a slow breath was let out through his nose. Naji took a few moments to stay silent as Inakil got up and paced the room. Yes, he was upset at him for lying to him, but he didn't want that to show in his voice...not when he wasn't sure exactly why Inakil had pulled away from him. Naji moved to sit on the edge of the bed and reached out to grab a hold of Inakil's hand once again as he walked passed him.

"Alright, darling, I know it's easier to lie but please...please don't lie to me. I told you I want you to be completely honest with me, especially about intimacy." Naji said, forcing his voice to be soft and comforting. He really did know how much easier it was to try and lie something off. There'd been many a time where he'd had to force himself to be honest with Inakil about using the joy plant, so he knew how hard it was to be honest...but he knew how important it was for them to be honest with each other. While he'd never been in a relationship before, Naji would be damned if he didn't try his hardest to make this one work for the long run.

"If you need to take a moment alone, fine, but please...talk to me. Tell me what's wrong...even if it's something I did or didn't do." Naji begged of him again. He truly was worried by this point that the lack of intimacy they shared had something to do with him. Perhaps something he was doing or not doing...or...well, he really wasn't sure, but the fear was still there.
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Marvealle
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Mon Mar 21, 2016 11:26 pm

As Naji's hand caught his when Inakil paced by him, Inakil stopped his pacing and faced Naji for a moment. However, when Naji spoke, and the word "darling" was uttered, her couldn't help but cringe a bit and turn his gaze away. However, Naji was right, lying was easier, but being honest was better, especially about intimacy, considering Inakil's... history. History that right now seemed like it hadn't happened all that long ago with the way it felt like it was doggedly chasing after him in his mind and memories.

"If you need to take a moment alone, fine, but please...talk to me. Tell me what's wrong...even if it's something I did or didn't do."

"You didn't do anything," Inakil was quick to try and resolve, hoping Naj didnt' really think he'd done something wrong. He ran a hand through his hair again, though he hadn't been able to bring his gaze back to Naji yet, or try to sit back down beside him either. He didn't really know what to say, except for one thing that slipped from his lips.

"I... don't mind your pet names, but... please... don't call me 'darling,'" he said, his voice back to being quiet and low again, as if afraid to admit it out loud he didn't like being called that. "Ce..." the name died on his lips and he swallowed hard. "She called me that, and sometimes... being called that reminds me and... my skin crawls."

He paused only briefly before uttering a quiet little, "I'm sorry," as if his request was something so much more than being asked not to be called by a specific pet name.
Atricis: Next Generation
~..:: Character & Thread Tracker | Marks Tracker ::..~
Nali ..::||::.. K'rin ..::||::.. M'ir ..::||::.. Raevin ..::||::.. Inakil ..::||::.. Elias ..::||::.. Sterling ..::||::.. Lolena'vas ..::||::.. Rey'vas
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Parker
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Title: High Ebilness
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Mon Mar 21, 2016 11:43 pm

Naji let go of his hand, not wanting to force him to remain still if he would rather pace. Something told him that it wouldn't be good to make Inakil feel like he was trapped. Despite Inakil's assurance that he didn't do anything wrong, there was still that nagging little voice in the back of his head that made him wonder if it wasn't him in some way. He wasn't going to argue though, if Inakil said it wasn't him then he'd simply have to make himself believe that he was telling the truth.

At Inakil's request, Naji mentally kicked himself. "I'm sorry, Inakil...I didn't know. I'll never use that one again. I promise." He stated with conviction. Thoughts of that bitch crossed his mind and even now he sort of wished that Inakil would have allowed him to make her life miserable. She was the sort of person that deserved to have a miserable existence, especially since his boyfriend was still suffering from what she had done. He supposed that fantasizing horrible and awful things had happened and were still happening to the bitch wherever she was would have to be enough to slake the hatred he felt.

"Inakil, don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. I promise." Naji retook his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before letting go again. If he didn't want to be called 'darling' he had every right to asked to not be called it. It didn't even matter the reason.

"Do you want to talk about...what's wrong?" Naji asked gently.
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Marvealle
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Tue Mar 22, 2016 1:13 am

Inakil didn't blame Naji, there were still little details here and there he hadn't talked about with anyone, at least anyone other than his mindhealer. Inakil had tried not to let that word bother him, and it didn't always, just sometimes, and right now was one of those times. He was glad, appreciative even, when Naji so easily accepted it and promised not to use it again. He still felt pretty badly though, even as Naji told him not to apologize and squeezed his hand. He did, however, no longer feel that rush of anxiety and panic or the racing of his heart. He'd calmed down now, so when Naji tried to coax him into talk about what was wrong, Inakil sat back down finally, sitting next to him on the bed, but leaving just a little bit of space between them.

"I'm sorry," he said after a moment, apologizing again. "I'm... I'm having trouble... taking things further with you." He cleared his throat a bit nervously and scratched the back of his neck. "And I feel bad for that too."
Atricis: Next Generation
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Nali ..::||::.. K'rin ..::||::.. M'ir ..::||::.. Raevin ..::||::.. Inakil ..::||::.. Elias ..::||::.. Sterling ..::||::.. Lolena'vas ..::||::.. Rey'vas
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Parker
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Title: High Ebilness
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Tue Mar 22, 2016 1:57 am

Naji folded his hands and placed them in his lap as Inakil sat back down next to him. While every fiber in him wanted to reach out and pull him close to him to comfort him, he resisted. Again, he didn't want him to feel trapped or smothered if he would rather have a bit of space. The fact he wasn't sitting too close to him made Naji think that was most certainly the case.

"Inakil...you really don't have to apologize for everything." Naji gently scolded him with a small smile. "We're taking things at your speed, remember? I don't want you to feel bad." He said honestly. However, he would never tell Inakil how many times he'd left him aching because of moments like this. The old Naji would have never been able to handle going so long without being with someone, but Inakil meant far more to him than just the physical aspects.

"I do want to try and help you, though, if I can." Naji said as he turned to face him a little better. "You know that we don't have to go all the way at first right?" He asked gently, making sure Inakil did know that. "And I don't expect you to please me, even when you are ready to let me please you." Naji wanted to make sure that he did know that. Again that nagging voice that tried to convince him that it was something to do with him tried to get out, but he pushed it down again. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
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Marvealle
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Tue Mar 22, 2016 2:20 am

It was hard to feel better about this, even though Naji tried to reassure him, reminding him they had agreed they would take things at Inakil's speed so he never felt pressured into doing anything he wasn't ready for yet. Slowly, they had gotten further and further in their months together, but that also meant they had been moving at an excruciatingly slow pace. He felt bad for that.

He looked more at Naji now when he spoke again and moved to face him better, watching him as he spoke and tried to make sure Inakil understood that everything didn't have to happen all at once whenever they did get that far. With Naji, it was hard to not assume that, given his history and Inakil being aware that he was a highly sexual person who was probably looking forward to when he could share that with Inakil. As he explained, Inakil looked away again and at his own knees as he considered Naji's words.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Inakil shrugged.

"I'm not sure... I mean... I'm trying, I know it might not seem like it, but I am trying to do more with you. I want to be able to. But... imagine having your first and only experience with... intimacy... being what happened to me? I know it's been over a turn now since then, but often, coming even close to that level of intimacy makes me think about then and her and... And I've really been trying to work on it, I've been talking about it with my mindhealer even..." Here he trailed off, in the midst of the beginnings of rambling he had let slip something he had been keeping secret from Naji since before they had gotten together. Everything in him froze, unable to think or respond, waiting for Naji's unhappy response.
Atricis: Next Generation
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Nali ..::||::.. K'rin ..::||::.. M'ir ..::||::.. Raevin ..::||::.. Inakil ..::||::.. Elias ..::||::.. Sterling ..::||::.. Lolena'vas ..::||::.. Rey'vas
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Parker
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Title: High Ebilness
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Tue Mar 22, 2016 2:51 am

"Of course I know you're trying, love. Months ago you'd have never let me get your shirt off...let alone that and move things to the bedroom." Naji stated, wanting Inakil to realize that he was making more progress than what he thought. "I can't imagine that, Inakil. I've never been in that situation before so it would be wrong of me to try and act like I would understand. I just...I want to give you a better experience. One that you can think about instead that's good and...full of love." Naji also looked down at his knees, afraid that he'd said the wrong thing.

Naji blinked a few times before looking back at Inakil. "You've been seeing a mindhealer?" He asked curiously. It was news to him as Inakil had never mentioned it before. "How long have you been seeing a mindhealer? Is it helping?" Naji asked, not sure how to feel about the fact that Inakil hadn't told him about it before.
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Marvealle
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Tue Mar 22, 2016 3:10 am

Naji somehow often knew how to say the right things for Inakil, he didn't know how he did it, but he often did. However, Inakil worried for a moment he had ruined that with his slip of seeing a mindhealer as he sat there frozen for Naji's response to that revelation. When he only responded with curiosity though, asking questions instead of sounding accusing or asking why he hadn't told him, Inakil was able to relax, though he was surprised as he looked at Naji again.

"I... yeah... I have... I started seeing them... Remember that night we talked shortly before you bonded to Weisden? It was shortly after that conversation." While it was easier to tell him that now that it was out there and Naji hadn't instantly reacted badly, it was still hard in its own way to reveal how long he had been seeing the mindhealer and how long he had been keeping it to himself. He wring his hands together.

"It has been helping, yeah. The first guy wasn't very... receptive to me... but then I requested someone else, and the current one... they've helped me a lot. We've recently moved on to discussing my... difficulty being intimate with you."
Atricis: Next Generation
~..:: Character & Thread Tracker | Marks Tracker ::..~
Nali ..::||::.. K'rin ..::||::.. M'ir ..::||::.. Raevin ..::||::.. Inakil ..::||::.. Elias ..::||::.. Sterling ..::||::.. Lolena'vas ..::||::.. Rey'vas
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