Being There For You [Tag: Parker/Najden]

While a similar idea to the dragonrider apartments, the Dayhandler cabins are individual homes that are overall smaller than the apartment buildings, with size assigned by rank and needs, woth all cabins allowing Daywhers to come inside. Day wherlings move into these cabins after bonding.
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Marvealle
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Thu Nov 05, 2015 4:27 pm

Inakil hadn't really expected Najden to react all that well to him suddenly pushing up his sleeve and asking him questions. In fact, when Naji called him out on what he'd really wanted to ask, Inakil winced and shied away a bit, wrapping both hands around his glass just to give them both something to do.

"I-I'm sorry," she couldn't help but stammer. "I thought it would be easier for you to ask when..." He trailed off there, feeling as if he had done something wrong. For a moment he distracted himself with more of his second drink, returning it into both hands after downing half of it. He watched Naji refill his glass again as he nursed the second half of his second drink. He considered downing the rest and getting another drink, but he was sure he would start to get silly drunk really quickly, so for a moment, he refrained. He sat silently, remembering when Najden had first showed him those scars and what he'd said to him.

"I can't stand by and see you become what I am, Inakil. I won't."

It hadn't been brought up since, Najden obviously happy to let it be forgotten. However, Inakil wasn't, not after his reminder that those scars were there, and Najden did them to himself. Others might have been disgusted with such actions, but Inakil wasn't, he was just concerned. He wanted to help. What kind of friend would he be if he just let it be after Najden had been there for him through the worst event in Inakil's life? He couldn't just leave it.

"It... It does matter, Najden. You might think it doesn't... but it does matter. I'm already worrying about it. I want you to talk to me about it." All while he spoke though, he didn't meet Naji's eyes, instead looking down into the glass he was still holding in his hands in his lap.
Atricis: Next Generation
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Nali ..::||::.. K'rin ..::||::.. M'ir ..::||::.. Raevin ..::||::.. Inakil ..::||::.. Elias ..::||::.. Sterling ..::||::.. Lolena'vas ..::||::.. Rey'vas
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Parker
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Fri Nov 06, 2015 1:17 am

"I-I'm sorry. I thought it would be easier for you to ask when..."

Naji shrugged. "Easy. Hard. It is what it is." He stated without feeling. Inside he was becoming a bit of a panicked mess. He'd brought up his scars to Inakil only for the sake of stopping him from following down the same path that he had. However, that didn't mean that he really wanted to talk about why he'd gone down that path. "Don't apologize, really." He assured Inakil as he didn't want his friend to feel bad.

"It... It does matter, Najden. You might think it doesn't... but it does matter. I'm already worrying about it. I want you to talk to me about it."

He shook his head and stood to his feet, needing to move for a moment instead sitting there on pins and needles. "What do you want me to say exactly?" Naji asked, trying to keep his voice monotone and not irritated or annoyed. The lordling reached into his jacket pocket that was slung over the couch arm and pulled out his little tin of joy plant to stuff into his pocket. He really needed another hit now if Inakil was going to insist on going down this road. "You want to know why I do it? Because it makes me feel better, I guess. It's the same reason I drink or get..." Naji managed to stop himself from admitting to the drug part of his addiction.

Naji moved behind the couch, out of Inakil's sight, in order to take that hit. Once he did he put the tin back in his pocket before finally turning back to Inakil. "Look, I don't want you to worry about me. I'm fine. Really, I am. I appreciate that you want to help, but honestly...I don't want to talk about it." Naji said. He was being honest, but was still trying to keep from letting the annoyance into his voice.
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Marvealle
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Mon Nov 09, 2015 12:17 am

Being the kind of person Inakil was, he didn't particularly like that he'd brought this up, as Najden seemed... on edge was a way to put it, because while he wasn't speaking to him harshly, his chosen words spoke volumes, as well as his actions such as standing up. As Naji stood and partially explained, Inakil finished his second drink finally, but didn't pour himself another one just yet. Instead he stood up as well, raising his brow at Naji's unfinished statement even as the other male moved away. He felt like it had been mentioned before, like somewhere in a hazy memory this had been brought up. Perhaps when he had been drunk but it had gone by without him realizing.

Luckily, Inakil lived in a guardhandler's apartment, though not so luckily for Naji, however, there were only so many places for him to try to go as the main area of the cabin was just one big living space. He didn't have the luxury of a kitchen, just his bedroom which was mostly unused these days, a small storage closet, and his washroom. So it wasn't hard for Inakil to sneak a peek at what Naji was doing, and finally, little statements, Naji randomly going into another room, or how he sometimes seemed sniffly, made sense. Inakil may not have ever seen joy plant use in action, but he had certainly read of it before.

"Look, I don't want you to worry about me. I'm fine. Really, I am. I appreciate that you want to help, but honestly...I don't want to talk about it."

Inakil wasn't sure how to feel, he was conflicted really, wondering if he should call Naji out on what just happened, or out on the fact that Naji was being totally unfair right now as well.

"So I have to talk about things I don't want to talk about but you don't?" He couldn't help it, though is wording came out harsher than he really intended, but he was actually surprised by what he just caught Naji doing, so quickly, he backpedaled.

"I didn't mean it like that, I just mean... Naji, you... Not talking about it isn't healthy. I should have been more concerned about it when you first showed me your scars, but I was too absorbed in my own problems. But... I just saw you take a hit of some drug, yes, I know about that stuff, I read a lot in the archives. And that on top of the self harm, you expect me to just... pretend none of that is going on?"
Atricis: Next Generation
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Nali ..::||::.. K'rin ..::||::.. M'ir ..::||::.. Raevin ..::||::.. Inakil ..::||::.. Elias ..::||::.. Sterling ..::||::.. Lolena'vas ..::||::.. Rey'vas
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Parker
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Title: High Ebilness
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Mon Nov 09, 2015 6:23 am

"So I have to talk about things I don't want to talk about but you don't?"

Naji cringed on the inside at the harshness of Inakil's tone, but he knew it was a fair assessment. "First of all, where you were when I wanted you to talk and where I am now is completely different. I've been..." He had to take a moment to figure out what he wanted to say, "...like this for...longer than I can remember. I know, that doesn't really make it fair but..." Naji shrugged as he really didn't care about what was fair. Honestly, he wasn't sure if he could pinpoint when all of this had started. For all he knew...it'd started the moment he was born almost.

"I didn't mean it like that, I just mean... Naji, you... Not talking about it isn't healthy."

He was having a hard time looking Inakil in the eyes. "No, obviously it isn't. I mean look at me. Just because I know it's not healthy doesn't mean I can just...start talking. It's not that simple." Naji stated, being far too logical for how broken he truly was. It really wasn't that simple though.

But... I just saw you take a hit of some drug, yes, I know about that stuff, I read a lot in the archives. And that on top of the self harm, you expect me to just... pretend none of that is going on?"

Naji groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. He should have known better than to take that hit in the open. He couldn't help but laugh at his stupidity though, thanks to feeling the effects already. "I'm honestly surprised you didn't catch me sooner." He stated as he moved by Inakil, giving his arm a pat. "Yes, I do drugs and I enjoy it immensely." Naji flopped back down on the sofa, trying to be more nonchalant than he really felt. "No...I suppose I can't expect you to do that....even if I wish you would." He patted the seat next to him, indicating that Inakil should sit back down. Then, he pulled out his tin and took one more hit for good measure, not bothering to hide it from him this time, before he poured both of them another drink. "Look, Inakil, I don't want to talk about it because I'm not even sure where to begin. You're not just asking me to tell you what's wrong. You're asking me to explain why I am who I am. That's something I'm not even fully sure of, I don't think." Naji picked up Inakil's glass and handed it to him. "Don't say you don't want it. You want me to say anything then you're going to damn well drink with me." That was his harsh way of saying 'fine, you win, I'll talk'.
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Marvealle
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Wed Nov 11, 2015 1:57 am

It was hard to not feel annoyed with Najden's nonchalant behavior once Inakil had revealed he'd been found out. Inakil wasn't sure what it was, but the nonchalant behavior, taking more right in front of him now, it just didn't sit well with Inakil in this situation, even if it was Najden just being on the defensive but trying to hide it. So he just sort of stood there and stared, listening as Naji admitted to not being sure where to begin being his reason for not wanting to talk about it. Soon though, he seemed to give in, practically demanding Inakil drink with him. Well, that had been the plan, and he wanted Naji to talk. Giving in to his demand, Inakil took the glass and sat back down on the couch finally, though he didn't say anything at first, taking a drink from the glass he'd been given, trying to collect his thoughts for a moment.

"If you don't want to talk to me about it," he started after a moment, sounding more collected than he had been a moment before. "Then why not talk to a mindhealer? I've heard good things about them, how they've helped people. It's their job to listen and help, and no one else would have to know what you talk about, from what I've heard anyways."
Atricis: Next Generation
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Nali ..::||::.. K'rin ..::||::.. M'ir ..::||::.. Raevin ..::||::.. Inakil ..::||::.. Elias ..::||::.. Sterling ..::||::.. Lolena'vas ..::||::.. Rey'vas
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Parker
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Title: High Ebilness
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Wed Nov 11, 2015 3:39 am

Naji watched as Inakil finally sat down next to him and took the glass. The lordling took a very long drink of his brandy as Inakil suggested that he could speak to a mindhealer. Other than Talen, whom was a good friend and a mindhealer, Naji really didn't have a good opinion of mindhealers. After his father had caught him at a party drinking when he was eighteen, he'd forced him to go see a mindhealer. It was not some of his fondest memories and in the end even the mindhealer was happy to know that he wasn't going to be coming back to visit him. Needless to say, Naji was not an easy patient to have.

"I most certainly don't wish to speak to a mindhealer." Naji stated easily as he took another sip of his drink. "I know I'm being stubborn about this, but...it is what it is." He fell silent for several moments. "I don't want to talk about it, but if I had to talk to anyone there's no one else I'd rather speak to." Naji said, for once being serious about this situation despite the fact he really didn't want to be.

He groaned a little then. "Really, Inakil? Are you sure you don't want to just drink and have fun? We can just...start this evening over." Naji said, hoping that they could start the night over where all they were sharing were drinks and nothing more.
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Marvealle
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Wed Nov 11, 2015 4:01 am

Inakil couldn't help but feel a disappointed Naji seemed to downright refuse the mindhealer suggestion, perhaps for a little more than just wanting his friend to have a much needed and safe outlet and someone to help him, but of course, he kept that to himself. This wasn't about him. Perhaps, at least though, he could take some solace in the fact Naji seemed to at least somewhat accept talking to Inakil about it. Soon though, he seemed to try to weasel out of it again, and Inakil sighed.

"I can't just pretend there isn't a problem. I can't pretend you aren't suffering. I want to help you, but at the same time, even if you let me, I can only really listen." Inakil sighed again, taking another drink from his glass.

"You're essentially asking me me to take all this support you've given me but not give anything back. You're telling me not be the person I am by asking me to take from you and leave you dried up and hollow." He stared into his glass as he spoke, taking another drink from it a moment later so now it was almost empty and he could feel the alcohol hitting his system.
Atricis: Next Generation
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Nali ..::||::.. K'rin ..::||::.. M'ir ..::||::.. Raevin ..::||::.. Inakil ..::||::.. Elias ..::||::.. Sterling ..::||::.. Lolena'vas ..::||::.. Rey'vas
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Parker
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Title: High Ebilness
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Wed Nov 11, 2015 4:10 am

"I can't just pretend there isn't a problem. I can't pretend you aren't suffering. I want to help you, but at the same time, even if you let me, I can only really listen."

"Listening is all the mindhealers really do, the only difference is they have some idea, or so they claim, of why people feel and think the crazy things they do." Naji stated, though what he said was not the truth in the least, it was still just his opinion on the people that practiced the craft. Honestly, his opinion was not that high, though he realized that he shouldn't judge all mindhealers by his perception of them.

"You're essentially asking me me to take all this support you've given me but not give anything back. You're telling me not be the person I am by asking me to take from you and leave you dried up and hollow."

"I wanted to give you that support, Inakil. I don't say this often...or ever...but I care about you, so I wanted to help." Naji stated honestly. "I don't mean to tell you anything, really. I'm just...I'm trying to be honest." He went on to say, trying to keep things from going too serious. However, he realized that that point was long gone. He cared a lot about Inakil and he realized that this situation would affect the way the rosehandler saw him. Did he really want to risk what he wanted with him all for the sake of not talking? Naji was sure that he wasn't willing to do that.

"My father...I suppose he is the catalyst to the reason I am the way I am. I'm the seventh and last son of a Lord Holder, do you know what that means for me?" Naji said as he talked about the things that came to his mind first.
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Marvealle
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Wed Nov 11, 2015 5:01 am

"I wanted to give you that support, Inakil. I don't say this often...or ever...but I care about you, so I wanted to help." Naji stated honestly. "I don't mean to tell you anything, really. I'm just...I'm trying to be honest."

"But it's still not fair. And I'm not the kind of person to ignore someone I care about when they're suffering, even if they haven't helped me before in a similar manner." Inakil really was that sort of caring person who didn't sit well with just leaving someone who needed help, even if they tried to stubbornly refuse it. Of course, Inakil could only push so much, and he was nearing the end of his rope about this, not sure what else he could say to try to get Naji to talk to someone about his troubles. Perhaps though, he had said just what was needed, as Naji began to talk

"My father...I suppose he is the catalyst to the reason I am the way I am. I'm the seventh and last son of a Lord Holder, do you know what that means for me?"

Inakil looked up from the remaining liquid in his glass as Naji began to speak, though he was almost afraid to look at him, afraid that he might scare like a wherry chick and metaphorically try to flutter away. However, he did think on Naji's words. Seventh son of a Lord... that was a big family, and though he was raised in a Weyr, he did have a fair idea of how things in a Hold worked thanks to being taught those things to reduce the chances of him somehow insulting one of their Holds if he ever interacted with Holders. Sometimes Inakil forgot that Najden was a Holder's son.

"Everything your father would leave to his children goes to your older siblings," He asked to ensure he understood right, "not leaving you with much of anything, right?" Inakil really had no way of knowing how that felt. He was no one special's son. Well, his father had been Weyrleader for a few turns, and a Wingleader and Bronzerider for more, but those things weren't passed down to children. Dragonrider children didn't really get anything from their parents, and even if they did, Inakil was the oldest son and would be the one guaranteed to get the most. It reminded Inakil that he an Naji came from entirely different worlds.
Atricis: Next Generation
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Parker
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Title: High Ebilness
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Thu Nov 12, 2015 2:33 pm

"But it's still not fair. And I'm not the kind of person to ignore someone I care about when they're suffering, even if they haven't helped me before in a similar manner."

In spite of the annoyance and irritation he was feeling, a small smile spread on his lips at the thought of Inakil caring for him. While Naji knew that Inakil thought of him as a friend, he couldn't help but feel a bit of elation and humility any time he heard the man say that he did care about him. It wasn't that Naji didn't believe him. The fact of someone caring for him simply because and not because there was some personal gain from it was not something the lordling was use to. The so-called friends he had before had only said they cared for him only because of what he could do for them. He knew Inakil wasn't like them, which only enforced how unworthy he was to have the rosehandler as a friend. "I know you're not, love. You're an amazing friend, really. One that I don't deserve." Naji said, getting a bit mushy and emotional for a second. That was mainly thanks to the mix of drug and alcohol that he was certainly feeling. Otherwise he'd have been too irritated to say something like that.

"Everything your father would leave to his children goes to your older siblings," He asked to ensure he understood right, "not leaving you with much of anything, right?"

Naji gave a sardonic chuckle, "Not much of anything would have been a step up, I think." He stated before he took another long sip of his brandy. "From the moment I was old enough to learn anything, I was taught how to become a Lord Holder. Naarkaden insisted all of his boys learn the proper way to manage a hold as large as Bitra." Speaking about his childhood was a heck of a lot easier than trying to explain to Inakil the reason for his depression. "At first it was grand, knowing that I was learning something most holders don't get to learn and, of course, the hope of getting to use that knowledge came along with learning it." Naji could barely remember those days, but he knew he'd had them. "I was never a fan of my father, since I got to see how he treated my older brothers and what he expected from them. I figured that since I was following their footsteps it wouldn't be long before he began getting onto me like he did them." What child didn't want their father's attention? "But...he ignored me. While I didn't want to be treated the way he treated my brothers, the fact he didn't pay attention at all..." Naji shook his head and took another drink. That had began his rebellious stage, unconsciously trying to get his father's attention with such behavior.

"I'd always been a bit of a trouble maker, so I continued to be. Father would sometimes pay enough attention to...ah...punish me for my insolence." Naji gave Inakil a look in the hopes he would understand what he meant by the word 'punish'. He still sported some scars on his back from the lashings he received. "I digress though...you're not interested in my entire childhood. When I was twelve or thirteen, I finally gained the courage to ask my father what his plans for me was. I figured I'd get a small hold in our territory or something.I mean, he expected so much from, not just me, but all of us boys, I figured there was a good reason for it. Instead, he told me that there was nothing for me to inherit other than the blood that ran through my veins. My oldest brother and his family would inherit Bitra itself and the smaller holds were already promised to my other brothers and their families. He told me I was no better than a daughter to him, so he would likely marry me off to whatever bitch would garner him some sort of profit. I argued, which ended with another beating, and was told that it was my duty to do as he told." Naji shrugged then and raised his glass for a sarcastic toast. "Here's to a wonderful childhood."
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