My Greatest Secret - Ember | K'rios

Not the large stone caverns that Weyr people are used to, these are buildings built on the top of the cliff, sometimes referred to as the Weyr Cliff. These buildings are all the same size, with multiple apartments for dragonriders to live in in each building. Because of space constraints, dragons sleep in large pavilions built around the dragonrider apartments.
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Shaihulud
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Mon Feb 25, 2019 10:22 am

The touch upon Solai's back enticed her, drawing her form even closer to K'rios if such a thing were even possible. Her thigh slipped along his hip, down his own thigh, her leg shifting further still to brush her calf along his own. So perfectly did he fit against her. So warm. So kind... with a hint of deviousness that appealed to the greenrider.

And he had come to her aide when she needed him most.

Was it a bad thing that she found the urge to kiss him beginning to bud upon her lips? As her mouth ghosted along his jawline, she swore the kiss would be a chaste one. A brush of tender flesh, a pliant press... Even the subsiding thrums of her migraine failed to suppress the desire, but when he spoke again, mentioning his need of a good night's rest, she managed to reign in her impulsive urge. Not tonight. If he needed to rest, Solai would respect him. The kisses could wait, especially when he still managed to warm her with the wrap of his arm around her. Just having him here with her, intimate yet comforting, was enough for Solai.

"Faranth, but you feel good right now, Solai."

She pulled back just enough to brush her nose against his own in a tease up to the moment she slipped to his cheek where she pressed a kiss. "Goodnight, K'rios." Her form curled against his own. With a peace easily found in his embrace, Solai found sleep not long after.

***

When the sunlight cut through the curtains and shined upon Solai's eye, the greenrider fluttered awake. She was not startle in the slightest when she saw K'rios in her company so early in the morning. It felt natural to her, as though every morning prior to this, she had been deprived by his absence.

He seemed peaceful in those moments leading up to his own rouse from sleep. His repose gave her time to look upon him, admiring a side of the pewterrider few understood and appreciated. Fingers reached up to brush the hairs along his brow, and bring her fingers down his cheek, and around delicate curve of his ear.

You care for this man, Tyreth crooned lovingly into her thoughts.

I do, Solai thought back to her dragon. And yet, it was more than that. Looking upon K'rios in that moment, with all events leading up to this morning considered, Solai knew exactly how she felt. Tyreth, I think he's the one. I'm going to weyrmate this man. Solai could not imagine a morning without him, not any more. To awaken alone felt unnatural to her, especially now that she felt his gentle heart pulsing against her palm. A thumb brushed against his chest, drawing upon the spot. He was perfect, even if she caught that faint warm notes of a breath that soured overnight as they rested. She would rather experience the unsavoury scent if it meant she could awaken to the sight of K'rios every morning, for life was no longer a life at all when her days began and ended without him.

Her heart clenched at the thought that after this morning, he would return back to his apartment. I don't want this morning to end Tyreth. However, he would leave. Their lives demanded it, even if her heart could not stand his inevitable departure.

It would not be long before his eyes slit open to greet the morning and regard her. Once that moment came, Solai would savour it for all that it was, and lean in once more to kiss his cheek. "Good morning..." she would utter, her lips so close to his own revealing a tender smile. Did she dare kiss him?

Yes.

It felt natural, to act upon the desire she had long harboured, to feel his mouth against her own, to press pliant lips against him so intimately.
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Ember
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Fri Mar 22, 2019 3:13 am

It was a dream, and yet it felt so real, so natural, as though to be real. She was there, a wisp of something that seemed almost beyond reach. What was she doing there in that far away place that she didn't belong in, in places few dare not belong in? His dreams were meant for him alone, and yet she was often there, one night after another, never on purpose, only in a natural way that felt good, and perfect, and right when he finally opened his eyes and felt the day wash over him anew.

He always loathed those moments when the visions of her started to fade, and he knew it was time to rouse, when moments later pinpricks of light would cascade through the curtains of his lids and force his eyes to open. But in those few moments before that happened, he would simply enjoy the sensations of her in his arms before she faded, and pretend for just a moment that it was real, that she would be able to remain there permanently even when the world came to claim him for another day.

This time was different.

This time as it arrived to take him from those dreams, it was lips that met him, it was the feel of softness in his arms that greeted him, it was the sensation that he was still dreaming, only that things were very much alive and real instead of a figment of thought, and so he surged against it automatically if only to try and keep that soft woman against him just a moment longer in case this was all some trick being played upon him by that asshole dragon that he was bonded to, because even he wouldn't be surprised by such a thing.

He finally had to pull back for air and to try and finally blink back the finally notes of sleepiness from his eyes, and when he did, he saw her there, Solai, the vision of his dreams, and he pressed his forehead to hers and grinned. "I could wake up like this everyday. You shouldn't let me get used to it, so you know."
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Shaihulud
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Fri Mar 22, 2019 2:06 pm

Solai greeted him with warmth, and K'rios answered her with heat, one that he stoked with the surge of a reciprocating kiss. What began as the pliant press of her lips against his own invoked a far more passionate response than Solai ever intended, but could never deny. His arms wrapped around her smaller form as her toes curled tight, twisting with the pleasure along his calf. She could hardly contain the current of want that flowed through her, leaving her breathless when his lips finally pulled away.

Once upon a time, he murmured something to her in this moment. He did so at the start of the turn, when Tyreth flew high with Iktomith coiled tight around her. What was it that he said? His warmth so near her own, she nearly recalled those words... of how no words were needed between them... unless you need to say stop.

I didn't say stop... her mind whispered to the memory of his voice from nearly a turn ago. The weight in her recovering breath hinted as much to him. She wanted to feel their kiss once more.

Rather than kiss her again, meeting her own advance with one of his own, he replaced the contact between them with the press of their brows. His grin, those eyes, his kindness, his strength, his honour. How could K'rios possibly exist? Poets wrote of him, a dream vision of the impossible. It baffled Solai how a man like him could be real, let alone with her. Yet here he laid with her. "I could wake up like this everyday. You shouldn't let me get used to it, so you know."

If I don't kiss you now, I'm so afraid I will never get another chance to... her heart fluttered in turn for all the confession failed to escape her. Every moment felt as delicate as spindrift. She feared that while he was with her now, he would regain his wits and leave her tomorrow, flee from her on a momentss notice. She thought last night might be that moment... He could have left her then when she confessed to being an abolitionist. He could have left her when he saw her strike A'ric. He could have also smothered the chance between them when they both confessed their sentimentalities towards one another only two weeks ago.

Yet rather than voice her fears, she dared to bring life to her dreams, letting the luscious murmurations of a different confession take flight and dance along his ear. "Maybe I want you to get used to it." A hand reached up, daring to touch the impossible she had so recently kissed. "Is it horrible that I don't want this day to start? I don't want you to go..."

She also wanted to discuss her dealing last night least of all. Would he leave her the more he knew of her work in Walled? She did it for a good cause, but Solai could not deny the fact her hands were dirty. Glancing down at the one splayed across his chest, she caught sight of the ink present just under her nails, blackening the white tips. What if he saw just how soiled she truly was? A physical quiver claimed her at the thought. What if he walked out that door and never returned?

The worry seeped into her green eyes, and she knew it, thus she concealed it by the way she nestled her face into the crook of his neck and held him close against her. In that moment, she could feel the way their hearts beat together, drowning out the sounds of the coming day. But birds always sung their sweetest in the morning, when their chirps and trills begged for the warmth of the day to begin.
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Ember
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Sat Mar 23, 2019 6:49 am

There was something wrong. He'd been about to respond to her question with sweet words of his own, when she started to quiver. It managed to shake the morning rust from his mind, brought back memories of the night before, and he recalled the incident and what they needed to discuss. It was something that K'rios wanted to avoid himself, if only because he wished for something peaceful to claim them for a little while longer. A simple moment of enjoyment between the two of them and then let the day have its fun.

He tenderly curved his finger over her cheek, flicking away stray curls of hair and drawing her gaze back up to his own. She'd see the concern written across his features, twisting his brows until they nearly met in the middle of his nose-bridge. Yet he didn't voice a single word until he was ready to. When that would be wasn't indicated, and instead he dipped in close to kiss the same spot in between her eyes before leaning back. "I'll go make us some klah, if you want to sit up and prepare for what needs to be done. Might as well get it over with, and then..."

Then they would go from there. But he didn't move, he couldn't bring himself to do so, couldn't draw his arms away or shift from the sofa. He simply continued to lie there with her in his arms and sighed. "Fuck it, forget the klah. Solai, just..." He touched his forehead to hers and hoped the closeness, his bare and raw voice, so filled with the intense emotions of a man confused by what was going on, would convince her of what he needed and wanted to know. "Just tell me what's going on with you, please?"
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Shaihulud
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Sat Mar 23, 2019 7:07 pm

He took notice of the worry written upon her face. Rather than pry her for the cause, he swept her curls away and pressed a tender kiss to the space between her eyes. Autumn orbs chased after him when he pulled back to regard her. There, in his blue eyes with that dark fleck of brown, she caught sight of his own concern that wrinkled at his brow. She knew her own anxiety had summoned the depths of consternation. What could she possibly have to say that would make her worry so much? those eyes begged for all lips left the question unspoken.

Fortunately for them both, K'rios could always be counted upon to be the level headed and patient one of the two of them. I'll go make us some klah, if you want to sit up and prepare for what needs to be done. Might as well get it over with, and then..."

Yet he dreaded the talk as much as her. Did he know? Did he feel that same knot in the pit of his stomach, the same that plagued her own?

Rather than relinquish her, he held her close and knit their brows together once more. "Fuck it, forget the klah. Solai, just... Just tell me what's going on with you, please?"

The selfish part of her wanted to dissuade him from such questions, but it was too late. He already knew part of the truth, and begged now for the rest... the worst of it. Lips pressed together, worried just how he might respond once she told him the very thing he asked of her, how her loyalty to the movement had likely wronged others... and wronged him. Her hesitation spoke of as much.

What would he say? Would he yell at her? Possibly, but she could withstand raised voices. It was the possible physical altercations she feared. Part of her trusted K'rios, the part of her who had sat across the table from him when they drank with their Wing, the part of her who opened the door that day he escorted her petulant sister after catching her red-handed in the barracks. K'rios was calm and caring, loving, gentle, patient.

He is not N'ko, Solai quietly reminded herself.

Tyreth pressed upon her in reassurance. No, he isn't. You wouldn't be with him if he was.

And what if he leaves me? she dared to ask of Tyreth.

Then he doesn't deserve you, Tyreth said rather pointedly. She would not suffer such insult on her rider's behalf.

Solai, however, realised she was deserving of such abandonment if K'rios deemed it necessary. "Please, don't hate me," she opened after far too much delay. "I want you to know now that if I had known you like I do now, I wouldn't have done it, but I had to at the time. I couldn't get you involved..." Could she kiss him and erase it all? But it was too late. Instead, she slipped her hand to his cheek, a silent askance not to hate her for the thing she was about to tell him. "I lied to you about some of the candidates I brought to the barracks over the last turn... they were legal slaves, escaped slaves... not freed ones."
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Ember
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Sat Mar 23, 2019 7:36 pm

There was a great depth of silence that they were both forced into after she spoke. He gave away nothing during that time as they fell along the unseen chasm. When finally something started to rise, it wasn't necessarily one of them, but more a dark cloud from K'rios, and he started to release his body from her, a finger at a time, before rolling away and sitting up.

"You lied." Was the first thing he said. It had nothing to do with the fact that those candidates had been slaves, that was something that could be dealt with later, with others, if ever. What stuck him the most was the fact that he had been lied to. He had heard what she had said, it had been a different time, a different place, they hadn't known one another then the way they did now.

With what seemed like a great force, and perhaps it was for the words that came next, he pushed to his feet and turned, shouting at her. "You lied to me! Fuck, Solai!" He took a step back and turned, unable to look at her as he tried to contemplate what he was going to do next, as his heart started to squeeze with a pain he had hoped to not feel again so soon.
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Sat Mar 23, 2019 7:58 pm

Solai had never felt so cold as she did in that moment when K'rios pulled away entirely from her.

"You lied."

Her throat clenched tight, fearful of what was about to come, but she would not dare lie again. "Yes," she managed to utter a sound in the form of a single, audible word.

Rather than sit in contemplation, however he shot to his feet and turned on her. "You lied to me! Fuck, Solai!" The way he turned his back to her broke her heart. It was never her intention to hurt him, not ever. Even when she knew nothing about him other than a name and face, Solai had not the heart to hurt him. Yet that was exactly what she had done.

"I'm so sorry, K'rios..." did she dare stand to her feet and reach for him? The thought crossed her mind, but the very line of his posture warned her against it. "Please, try to understand, it wasn't just about protecting the children, K'rios. It was about protecting you and others who are best left not knowing. There are dangerous men out there hunting these children, and it's easier to lie to a man if you truly believe you're telling them the truth. If they came here, and even suspected you were lying..." Her lips trembled, begging the powers that be that he would understand why she did it. "I've seen what they do to liars and rebels in Walled. If they did that to you, if they hurt you... I'd never forgive myself. I care about you so much. I-" Stunned by the thing she nearly said, Solai bit her tongue rather than utter the rest. She would not dare. Not now.
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Ember
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Sat Mar 23, 2019 8:05 pm

He knew what she'd been about to say, and as much as he felt the same way, he was glad she didn't utter those words. Not here, not now, not when things were so heated with emotions that shouldn't have to exist between them. "But I'm not every man, Solai. You should have known that. I've dealt with children for years now. I can handle lying. And now I'll be handling and it doesn't seem to bother you."

He turned to her, and his face was a mask of anger and hurt and something else. It moved together, each facet at war with the other, each fighting for a placement over the last. He didn't know what to think, or how to feel, not when she'd been so close to admitting how she felt, not when he knew the truth. "And I'm going to guess that isn't even all there is to it, is it?" He shook his head. "Of course it isn't, I'm not that fucking thick."

Hands clenched and unclenched as the anger he felt ebbed and flowed through him, as he had no outlet with which to express it through. "I'm going to the training grounds. I need to... I have to get rid of this anger, and I'm not going to stand here and spit and hiss at you the next however many minutes. I'll be back when I'm finished." When he felt as if he wasn't going to continue a tirade that was the same hurt, angry mess over and over again.
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Shaihulud
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Sat Mar 23, 2019 8:33 pm

"But I'm not every man, Solai. You should have known that. I've dealt with children for years now. I can handle lying. And now I'll be handling and it doesn't seem to bother you."

He was wrong. It did bother her. It bothered her a great deal, for she knew by letting him into her life, she had put him in harms way. But even Solai could be selfish when offered the chance of happiness. "You've no idea how scared I am for you, K'rios." Yet despite the fact their relationship had come to this point, an ugly point where the bared truth laid before them in all its wretchedness, Solai could not regret saying "yes" to him that day he asked for more between them. However, the thought that he might, devastated the greenrider.

The battle she saw in those eyes whispered as much to her, confirming her greatest fear. He was going to leave her.

"And I'm going to guess that isn't even all there is to it, is it? Of course it isn't, I'm not that fucking thick."

She wanted to ask what he meant, but he brushed off the possibility of clarification by simply assuming the worst. What more did he want her to say? Did he want to know how she put her life on the line every time she went to Walled? How she had seen the suffering of children in cages before she managed to steal them away to safety? How her own uncle nearly died for daring to speak against the mother? Or did K'rios suspect that Mul'rec would absolutely speak to him after this, forcing his involvement and his silence?

He was a part of this now.

"I'm going to the training grounds. I need to... I have to get rid of this anger, and I'm not going to stand here and spit and hiss at you the next however many minutes. I'll be back when I'm finished."

Tears welded in her eyes at the thought of him leaving her like this. She would have rather heard the vitriol he had to offer than let him abandon her to a plague of uncertainty. "If you're going to end things between us, then please... just tell me now."
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Ember
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Sat Mar 23, 2019 11:49 pm

That put a stop to him stepping towards the door. He looked at her, utterly confused, instead of absolutely furious. It didn't take away the anger he felt, or the questions had, nor the words that he'd spouted in her direction. Nothing could, nothing would, in his opinion. What it did do was serve to pause and make him consider what she was saying, and think about what he was about to do. Did she think that but him leaving, he was going to walk out of her life for good?

He shook his head at that. There was no possible way he was going to do that. Why couldn't she get that that's why this stung so much?

He wasn't going to leave her now, or in the future, not over this. He just didn't want to be that man that yelled and argued whenever there was a fight. He wanted to go and let out his frustrations on the training field, come back and discuss this more rationally, and he would explain that to her as he went on, after he started to speak again.

But first he needed to reassure her, even if he sighed while rubbing his aching face, which felt itchy thanks to all the mess that his contorting features had made it into - and continued to do when his fingers dropped. "First, I'm not leaving you. That's never been an intention of mine, that will not be something I ever do. It will take a lot more than this kind of lie for me to say goodbye to you, Solai."

There, that was said, now he could go on. "I need to step away because I'm not going to scream. I'm not going to be that man. I'd much rather my anger be directed on a training dummy than directed at you through words I'll likely regret later. I'd much rather come back here in an hour, two hours, maybe three hours and discuss this rationally and more calmly. That is why I'm stepping out. Leaving you was never an option."
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