... don't know? What did I just say?
It were as though two thoughts collided at once when she attempted to speak to K'rios, an amalgamation of "you know?" and "I don't know"
. Both thoughts melded together, creating a remark of utter confusion, which, in turn, worried and frustrated K'rios visibly.
"Listen, I don't know if its me that you don't like, or if its the rest of the candidates. But in the case of the latter, please know that I won't force you to interact with them if that's what's going on. I was genuinely trying to find ways to help you out of having to do so."
No! No! No! Shards! That was not at all what she meant. She did like him! That was the entire problem! Even as a young woman, Angela recognised the silliness of it all, a serious sort of silliness that girls like her and men like him were never supposed to indulge in. She liked K'rios! Only one other soul knew that she fancied the pewterrider, her own sister, the very one he had been with. But Angela could not state any of it. Shards, since Iktomith confirmed Solai never brought up Angela, and Angela never spoke of Solai, she doubted K'rios even knew they were sisters. It was not like they had that many physical similarities, all in part to the fact that they did not share the same father...
"I assure you, that's all I wanted to work with you on, and to try and figure out. I wouldn't force you to do something you're not comfortable with, and I understand that interacting with people is difficult at the moment."
A long silence fell on the young woman in thought, trying to find a way to speak without making matters worse. Even the hybrids kept their peace and traded glances between Angela and K'rios as the girl mulled over the right words. "I don't hate you, K'rios-" far from it, in fact, though she would go to the void long before she ever told him that little bit "-And... it really isn't you. It's me. I'm a difficult person without Emalia-" she paused and then clarified, just like her sister would have done "-my twin. She's better at words than I ever was, better at most things really." Emalia, the firstborn, the strongest born, the smartest born. During their childhood, Angela constantly found herself sick and vulnerable to things Emalia never succumb to. It seemed her sister had it easier in life in ways that left Angela sorely lacking, or at least that was how Angela saw it. "I just keep on thinking how if she were here, they
would be easy for me to deal with. I'm an introvert, but she's great with people... and she always protected me from their... vapidity..." She caught herself. "Not you! I'm not calling you vapid, but a lot of people my age really don't have much on their mind aside from sex and popularity, two things I really could give a tail-fork about. But that's not your fault, K'rios. You did nothing wrong. It's just who I am, and I know myself well enough to... well... give myself some space from them."