She knew that she couldn’t stop her sister from living her life, and that was a fact that she simply couldn’t escape from. If there was any way to allow Ayasena to have all of the same joys in life without the potential for pain, she would have done so in a heartbeat. But pain was a part of life, whether one wanted to believe it or not, and she just had to accept that. Didn’t mean that she liked it any more, she thought with a sigh as she settled into a nearby chair, realizing that she was over analyzing everything. Again. She was told she had a definite problem with that, and she could finally start to see just how right they had been. Stop, Kyri. Aya knows what she wants, and all you have to do is support her, she told herself, shaking her head slightly as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table in front of her as she settled her chin in one hand. Unbidden, the worries started to well up in the forefront of her thoughts again; what if Aya got hurt during a Hatching? What if a dragonet seriously hurt her, or one of her friends? Would her sister be able to cope with that, after seeing her own mother get killed before her eyes?
Another vehement shake of her head, and Kyrielle quickly pulled herself back out of her thoughts. Best not to focus on such things, she reminded herself with a deep breath as she reached out, grabbing the nearby mug of klah and taking a much needed sip. As she set the mug back down on the table, she ran her fingers through her hair, pushing a wayward lock away from her face as she reminded herself of what a certain candidatemaster had helped her to realize. It wasn’t her right to try to keep Ayasena from doing anything at all, even if under the best intentions of keeping the girl safe. Her definition of ‘safe’ at present was stifling to her sister’s growth, and she needed to keep in mind that the girl needed to be able to make her own mistakes in life. And in order to do that, she had to take a step back, be more of a sister and less of a worrying mother. Not that she could help it, of course, not after taking care of Aya for the better part of the last Turn. But the fact that she could try had to mean something, right?
Perhaps after dinner, she mused thoughtfully as she nibbled on one of the sweetrolls she had picked up, she would go back to her quarters in the barracks and content herself with working on a tapestry or mending some of the clothes that Aya had sent her way. But for now, she forced herself to concentrate on the food on her plate, pushing everything else to the back of her mind and allowing herself to slowly go into a place of… surprising peace of mind. And who knew? Maybe someone would be willing to speak with her, to further pull her mind back from the brink and away from the entanglement of nerves it had been since she realized that Ayasena was showing an interest in being a candidate.