Bonding Blueriders - Tag: N'can/Alt

Despite being new, this dining hall is very similar to the one back at old Atricis, giving a familiarity to the new Weyr. It is one large, central cavern carved out from the side of the cliff with many tables of varying sizes and seat numbers. The kitchens are attached, and there is a set of stairs leading down into the lower caverns.
Post Reply
User avatar
Parker
Site Admin
Posts: 2475
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2015 10:46 pm
Title: High Ebilness
Pronouns: He/Him
Age: 32

Thu Aug 30, 2018 9:27 pm

"I...I...I...I don't kn-n-now what I'd-d like,"

The flirtatious look slipped from Ao'mek's face and was replaced by one of concern. The whole of last night and even this morning he had hoped that he would be able to show N'can that it was alright to let loose and have fun...to make friends. However, the more time he spent alone with the bluerider the more he was beginning to truly worry about him. He placed a comforting hand on his arm and squeezed lightly. "You don't have to decide right now if you don't want to. You can always get back to me." He told him, hoping that would help to calm him some.

Ao'mek swung his legs over the edge of the bed and reached down to grab his shirt and pants he'd left there. "I had a lot of fun N'can and I really like you. You're a lot of fun when you allow yourself to be. However, I will admit, that I am rather concerned for you, my friend. I've seen my fair share of shyness and timidness, but you...you seem to be afraid of living. That saddens me...a lot. There is so much happiness you could find for yourself, but it feels to me as if you don't feel like you deserve any of that happiness. I could be absolutely wrong here....and I'm only saying this because I care." He really did care, that was the truth.

"I want to be able to help you, N'can. Come out of your shell a little...at the very least not feel bad about having a good time, but I'm not sure if just I alone will be able to help." He turned to him and looked at him seriously. "Have you ever thought of talking to a mindhealer? I'm sure they'd be able to help you even better than I could." Ao'mek only suggested it because he thought it would really help his friend.
Image Image Image Image Image
F'lin & Mnenomth | C'sian & Gastoneth | Sid'nis & Iolith | Ao'mek & Tlamehath | Lorcan & Hydranth
Image Image Image Image
So'cles & Ylpeysth | Locke & Wraith | Kisle'vis & Cetovas | Journeyman Zaynallen
Image Image Image Image Image
Darrow & Argow | Naji & Weisdan | Car'vis and Corentivis | Ferghas & Fersk | Corbin & Corsk

.::..::..::..::..::..
PC Character Tracker | Marks Tracker | NPC Stash
Altreis
Posts: 793
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2015 2:41 pm

Fri Aug 31, 2018 8:06 pm

Oh he was in trouble now, N'can knew it. While flirting was awkward for him at least it was a positive sort of action. Seeing it fade from Ao'mek's face immediately worried him. But again, as N'can was beginning to cringe, Ao'mek defied his expectations.

There was no rebuke, in any manner, only more reassurances. N'can was given time to think over the offer...and then Ao'mek continued into very much unknown territory.

He could believe that Ao'mek had managed to enjoy the evening that he personally could only remember bits and pieces of-much like his first Flight or two. The rest was so strange, so foreign to N'can that the bluerider was left dumbstruck. Friend? Concerned for...him? Even stranger...liked him? Found him fun?! Perhaps the strangest of all: Ao'mek was sad for him?

N'can was at a complete loss. A part of him echoed that yeah, he didn't really feel he deserved much of anything. If happiness just happened to come his way, great. Mostly he was happy enough if he managed to get through life without causing trouble, for himself or others.

But why should Ao'mek care? Why should it make him sad? They were wingmates but surely not much more. Even for wingmates they were pretty distant, what with N'can's habit of trying to avoid socializing. Yet Ao'mek had called him a friend and was concerned, sad even, for him. The only other person in his life to have such feelings was Violath and N'can wasn't sure how much a dragon bonded to him counted. Impression was different, special. Violath loved him wholly, no matter what. No one else that sort of absolute bond with N'can though, no reason to worry over him and want him around. Except Ao'mek did. Why?

If that was not enough Ao'mek went on to say he wanted to help N'can. Help him? It was strange enough to imagine someone even thinking about whether or not he was happy. To want to help because he was not? He was even suggesting...

N'can gulped. "I...I have not, no. Wh-why would I want to waste their time?" His voice was soft, full of the confusion he felt. "Just as I don't want to waste your time. I...I don't know. How is dealing with me fun? Why be sad and ruin your mood because of me? I'm not worth all that."
Image Image Image Image Image Image
User avatar
Parker
Site Admin
Posts: 2475
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2015 10:46 pm
Title: High Ebilness
Pronouns: He/Him
Age: 32

Thu Sep 06, 2018 6:48 pm

"I...I have not, no. Wh-why would I want to waste their time?"

"Waste their time?" Ao'mek questioned with confusion. "N'can, sweetie, it is their job to help people. To talk to them and figure out how to make things better. You wouldn't be wasting their time. Mindhealers are there exactly for people who need help to...make themselves happier." He explained patiently.

"Just as I don't want to waste your time. I...I don't know. How is dealing with me fun? Why be sad and ruin your mood because of me? I'm not worth all that."

Ao'mek put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed a little. "This is what I'm talking about, N'can. This self-loathing you have for yourself. It's not good and it is not healthy. You are worth it and I've been hoping that some of last night would show you that you are worth caring about, but I really think that you would benefit from more professional help than just having mine. That isn't to say I'm leaving you. I want to be able to help you all I can. You are my friend, N'can, whether you want to believe it or not." Ao'mek said vehemently.

"Seeing a mindhealer...it isn't a big deal. I had to see one for awhile a few turns ago. They helped me a great deal. I'm sure they'll help you too." Ao'mek admitted to him. It wasn't something he normally spoke about, but if it would make N'can feel better.
Image Image Image Image Image
F'lin & Mnenomth | C'sian & Gastoneth | Sid'nis & Iolith | Ao'mek & Tlamehath | Lorcan & Hydranth
Image Image Image Image
So'cles & Ylpeysth | Locke & Wraith | Kisle'vis & Cetovas | Journeyman Zaynallen
Image Image Image Image Image
Darrow & Argow | Naji & Weisdan | Car'vis and Corentivis | Ferghas & Fersk | Corbin & Corsk

.::..::..::..::..::..
PC Character Tracker | Marks Tracker | NPC Stash
Altreis
Posts: 793
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2015 2:41 pm

Mon Sep 17, 2018 4:16 am

N'can was at a loss. This morning, much like the previous evening, made no sense to him. He at least understood that mindhealers did help people feel better. They were like normal healers except they healed...well the mind and heart instead of the body. Ao'mek put it as helping make people happier though. Except N'can wasn't unhappy. He even considered himself plenty happy when he got to tend his garden, or when he was with his dragon.

Stranger still, Ao'mek talked about self-loathing. That couldn't be right... Sure N'can tried to stay out of the way and did not feel entitled to anything but that didn't mean he hated himself...did it? He was pretty sure he didn't hate himself; he just knew no one wanted his company, such as it was, and tried his best to honor that reality.

N'can was quiet as Ao'mek continued, listening and thinking hard. He insisted he was a friend and that he would not leave N'can, though he wanted the mindhealers anyway to give more help than he felt himself capable of. Such...devotion maybe? Yeah N'can could not even find the word, so foreign was the sentiment being given to him. It actually sounded as if Ao'mek wanted not to rid himself of N'can by handing the clumsy bluerider off to the mindhealers but to have their expert help back his friendship to...what? Fix a problem that wasn't there?

"I-" N'can began, only to pause a moment later. Ao'mek had not quite finished and what he said next was perhaps the strangest thing yet. "You? Mindhealers? But...you're always in a good mood. This morning with me has to be the worst you've felt in some time." Ao'mek was always happy; what did he have to see mindhealers for? And still...

"And um...I think...I think I don't understand..." he murmured, softly and slowly. "I am happy. I enjoy um...well my own personal hobby...and being with Violath. It might sound silly but...I do enjoy bathing and oiling him. The tasks are menial and dull but they are time spent with him. We talk, I pet him here and there...I am happy. I also don't hate myself. I just...most people want nothing to do with me. I'm clumsy, I'm not exactly handsome, I am if possible less graceful socially than I am physically... Is it so wrong of me to try and give them what they want? And how does knowing this mean I hate myself?"
Image Image Image Image Image Image
User avatar
Parker
Site Admin
Posts: 2475
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2015 10:46 pm
Title: High Ebilness
Pronouns: He/Him
Age: 32

Thu Sep 20, 2018 12:41 am

"You? Mindhealers? But...you're always in a good mood. This morning with me has to be the worst you've felt in some time."

Ao'mek couldn't help but chuckle a little. "No, I wouldn't consider this morning bad in anyway. You're a friend, I care, therefore I worry and I want you to be the happiest you can be. That is the only reason I brought this up." He again assured him and patted the man's shoulder. "I know it's hard to believe, but yes...I saw a mindhealer for quite a few months. It was when I was still back home. You see...I was in a serious relationship with this woman. Planned to marry her one day. Then...our child was stillborn. She couldn't handle it, so she ended her own life. I was a mess after that, but the mindhealer helped me through it." The scar of that wound would always be there, but he could talk about his ex-lover and think about her without wanting to collapse in on himself anymore.

He turned more towards him and gave N'can a wide smile. "Great! That's wonderful! I'm glad I'm wrong about you hating yourself and not being happy. That really does make me happy to hear." Ao'mek said with genuine joy. "You see, though, it's thoughts like that, though, that I think a mindhealer would be able to help with you with. It's not good to assume that everyone you meet will think that you're some sort of annoyance. That you're only good for a clutz. You automatically thought that I would look down on you, think the worst, and not want to be around you. And that is the farthest thing from the truth." He wasn't sure, but he thought maybe he was slightly getting through to N'can.

"It is a bad thing, N'can, when you're doing it at the detriment to yourself. I don't know who or why you have such a low opinion of yourself, but it needs to stop. You're a wonderful person. If you wasn't, Violath would have never picked you in the first place. I really think talking to a mindhealer will help you see that. Give you that oomph to believe you are more than just a nuisance." Ao'mek continued on.
Image Image Image Image Image
F'lin & Mnenomth | C'sian & Gastoneth | Sid'nis & Iolith | Ao'mek & Tlamehath | Lorcan & Hydranth
Image Image Image Image
So'cles & Ylpeysth | Locke & Wraith | Kisle'vis & Cetovas | Journeyman Zaynallen
Image Image Image Image Image
Darrow & Argow | Naji & Weisdan | Car'vis and Corentivis | Ferghas & Fersk | Corbin & Corsk

.::..::..::..::..::..
PC Character Tracker | Marks Tracker | NPC Stash
Altreis
Posts: 793
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2015 2:41 pm

Fri Sep 21, 2018 2:43 pm

N'can had to bite his tongue against swearing. No, no no no, he had not been asking for any elaboration on why Ao'mek had seen mindhealers. He believed Ao'mek had done so, had needed them, he just couldn't imagine the why. It had been a shock and he had reacted in kind. Never would N'can even dream of asking for details. Whatever had sent Ao'mek to the mindhealers, the bluerider's sunny mood in general already proved he had gotten through it. Asking for details was to ask someone to open an old wound and discuss something painful. No, N'can would never ask such a thing.

Now that Ao'mek was telling him the story though, N'can was increasingly apalled and sad. To lose a child, especially one born of love, was painful enough. To lose the mother of said child as well? And it wasn't even a matter of the birth claiming her life; she took it out of heartbreak from the stillborn baby.

Maybe she should have seen mindhealers, N'can thought in dismay. The mindhealers might have been able to save her, help her through the pain so she could be happy once more. Instead...instead she died and Ao'mek's pain was compounded.

Give him a hug, the soft, warm voice of his dragon crooned. Then, picking up on N'can's thoughts: No, there is nothing wrong with offering comfort to someone.

Still N'can hesitated-just long enough for Ao'mek to burst out happily. More confusion masked the sadness temporarily. Assuming he would be a bother was a bad thing? Yes he thought it to be true, because it always had been. Ao'mek, Violath, and that harper lady whose name he could not think of in the moment, they were the exceptions. There were exceptions but few enough. Why assume the other way and set himself up for worse failure?

Well...either way it seemed as if Ao'mek really wanted him to try talking to the mindhealers and N'an really did not want to argue against the nicest person he'd met in a while.

"I'll...try..." he murmured slowly, voice soft. "Though I still don't see the problem. N-not that I think you're making it up or anything; I just can't see it for myself...which I guess is why you want me to see the mindhealers." N'can blushed. He was talking in a circle, great! Wait circle...encircle? Oh!

Gathering every ounce of courage he had, N'can looked up and met Ao'mek's eyes. "I am sorry though, for a moment ago. I was expressing my shock, my surprise, that you ever needed mindhealers. I did not mean to pry or ask you to speak of something so painful. Most of all though-I am sorry for the pain you went through. Um...m-m-may I give you a hug?" Even then N'can could not bring himself to spontaneously hug the man. The potential that the physical contact was unwanted kept him from initiating-not until he heard Ao'mek was okay with it. Although apparently he had been kissing Ao'mek while drunk so in theory a hug would not be a problem...but better to be sure than sorry later.
Image Image Image Image Image Image
User avatar
Parker
Site Admin
Posts: 2475
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2015 10:46 pm
Title: High Ebilness
Pronouns: He/Him
Age: 32

Mon Sep 24, 2018 4:47 am

"Though I still don't see the problem. N-not that I think you're making it up or anything; I just can't see it for myself...which I guess is why you want me to see the mindhealers."

Ao'mek's face lit up with joy and happiness. He did wish that N'can could understand why there was an issue, but he wasn't going to complain either. Perhaps the mindhealer would be able to get through to him and make him understand. That was the point of going to one after all. To learn things about yourself and then learn how to make yourself better. "Wonderful! That makes me so happy, N'can. Just let me know when you want to go find one and I will go with you." He meant it when he said that he would be there for N'can at every step if he wanted him to.

"I am sorry though, for a moment ago. I was expressing my shock, my surprise, that you ever needed mindhealers. I did not mean to pry or ask you to speak of something so painful. Most of all though-I am sorry for the pain you went through. Um...m-m-may I give you a hug?"

"You don't have to apologize. I know you weren't prying. I know it's a tragic tale, but honestly I don't mind talking about it. That was one of the things I learned from the mindhealer. That it is okay to talk about what happened. It's better to talk about it. That was really the only way I was able to come to terms with it and eventually...learn to live with the loss." Ao'mek explained. Before he answered N'can he quickly through his arms around him for a tight hug. "You never have to ask me that. I'll always accept a hug from you, man. In fact, you might get tired of me hugging you."
Image Image Image Image Image
F'lin & Mnenomth | C'sian & Gastoneth | Sid'nis & Iolith | Ao'mek & Tlamehath | Lorcan & Hydranth
Image Image Image Image
So'cles & Ylpeysth | Locke & Wraith | Kisle'vis & Cetovas | Journeyman Zaynallen
Image Image Image Image Image
Darrow & Argow | Naji & Weisdan | Car'vis and Corentivis | Ferghas & Fersk | Corbin & Corsk

.::..::..::..::..::..
PC Character Tracker | Marks Tracker | NPC Stash
Post Reply